Torn

My two-week vacation is almost over now and I am just counting the days until I am gone. I honestly am already starting to regret that it's coming to an end soon. But today I found myself torn between my feelings of wanting to go away, thankful that I have a refuge in another place and of still wishing to stay and linger on. Not that I really can though. But the feeling is just undeniably there.

The pangs of nostalgia are already palpable every time I think of leaving soon. I really did enjoy being home again and visiting places while bonding with my family. I will certainly miss all of them especially my niece, whom I have spent most of my time with. And of course I was happy to see some of my closest friends too (although a very good friend of mine is having some problems of his own and I can't help but feel a little down...might be his depression rubbing off on me a bit). However, and unexpectedly too, the ghosts of the past are also starting to haunt me again and chase me away that I would rather escape and run free from it.

Home still feels like home and very much so. And I will always come back to it. But it just terribly saddens me to realize that for now I should take refuge from someplace else rather than the one I call home. I only wish that someday when I get back I would not feel so haunted again.