[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]

Home Again

Going home to my beloved Manila always makes my heart swell with happiness! I guess every Filipino who is miles away from home feels the same way too. And why wouldn't it be so? It's another chance one gets to be with one's dear family and friends! Being away for months on end can make me really miss my family and friends so terribly and just the thought of spending yet another vacation at home always makes my heart go fluttering in excitement and joy!

I consider myself very lucky enough that I can afford to go home like thrice in a year, if things are perfect, say work schedule, for instance. But if things are less than perfect, at least twice would not be so bad at all.

And speaking of luck, my second vacation for this year almost did not happen because of some inevitable and sudden changes at work. But I believe that Fate is still on my side, as it has always been. And this is just another testament to that, among too many already. Despite the supposedly hindrances that posed themselves while I was planning my September vacation, I was still fortunately granted the VL! Can you believe that? Indeed it's the workings of FATE! And it was a gift that definitely made someone's day really special than it already was!

But would Fate still allow me to go home again one more time this year? I pray that it will and I am already keeping my fingers crossed!

A Tribute to The King of Pop

I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson but somehow finding out about his death made me somewhat sad and sentimental.

It was around 2:00 a.m. of June 26, 2009 Dubai Time, when I first learned about the news. I was tuned in to RX93.1 and was also signed in on FB when I heard and read about his death. It was a real shocker! At first I refused to believe it. It's just not possible! How could it be? He's having his come-back concert tour in London in just a few weeks! It was so sudden too that one would think that it could be just a huge prank since many pranks of the like are currently spreading like wildfire in the internet. I immediately checked BBC and CNN on line. And there it was! Although unconfirmed, the news was really out and from reliable sources too. Then I could not contain my mixed emotions of grief and excitement and had to text my closest friend and share the news! I had to tell someone! Grief, because it was a sad and an unexpected bad news, and excitement because it was an undeniably big news too!

I think that this huge impact of his death on me is largely attributed to the fact that the great man and his music were a part of my growing up years. I was still back in our quiet and remote province during the Billie Jean and Thriller craze. I was young then but I already understood that he was going to be really big and famous. I remember watching this particular Billie Jean music video over and over, like a hundred times and I just loved the way the tiled floor lit up every time he gracefully stepped on a tile. To my young and uncorrupted probinsyana mind, it was amazingly impressive! Not to mention the famous moon walking too! I would always find myself glued to the TV set (thankful now that the only channel we had access to at that time, which was RPN 9, featured music videos like his) in awe every time he moon walked with such grace and ease. He was really something! He revolutionized the world's pop culture with his impeccable dance moves. He was also a trend setter in terms of clothing and hair styles. I think that in my generation, he was one, if not the biggest icon in the music industry. And I think that it will really be a long while since we all can get over the fact that he's not around anymore.

It just saddens me now to think that the King of Pop had lived a sad and scandalous life and was never able to recover from it. And apart from the many scandals that he'd been involved with, there was the demeaning reputation of being a Wacko Jacko! It's a shame that a man with such talent and brilliance had been considered by some as a joke mainly because of his appearance due to the many cosmetic surgeries he'd undergone just to change the way he looked. In my own opinion, I think that he could have remained really hot if only he had stuck to his innate looks and color!

But to his hard core fans, he will always be loved no matter what and he will live forever in their hearts. They will do anything for their Idol. Some fanatic fans, who were grief-stricken and heart broken because of his sudden death, even went the whole nine yards and took their lives just for their beloved Idol. Imagine that!

As for me, I can't deny the fact that he's made some of the most beautiful music this generation has ever heard. And I salute him for that. The man was a total performer, a genius when it comes to his music and I must say that it was indeed the best thing about him. It's just a shame that he's gone too soon, like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon.

My Fave MJ Songs:

1. Don"t Stop Till You Get Enough
2. Rock With You
3. She's Out of My Life
4. The Girl is Mine
5. Thriller
6. Beat It
7. Billie Jean
8. Human Nature
9. Bad
10. Man in The Mirror
11. I just Can't Stop Loving You
12. Smooth Criminal
13. Remember The Time
14. Heal The World
15. Black or White
16. Who Is It?
17. Will You Be There?
18. Gone Too Soon
19. Dangerous
20. They Don't Care About Us
21. You Are Not Alone
22. We Are The World
23. Ben
    

Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day, Kababayans!

It was all about freedom- freedom from the hands of the colonizers, freedom from bondage, freedom from oppression, freedom of expression. But to this day and age, some 111 years after that fateful day, it still is about freedom and we are still clamoring for it. It may seem like our freedom is no longer severely restricted or the appearance of our "imprisonment" may have changed over the years but freedom is still just but a dream- Freedom from poverty, freedom from corrupt officials, freedom from poor governance, freedom from unjust structures and freedom from ignorance, among others.

Like our heroes of the past, lets us speak up and fight for our rights and beliefs! Let's claim the Liberty that is rightfully ours, as a nation and as a people! Mabuhay and Pinoy! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

On a personal note, I would also like to celebrate and be grateful for the liberty that I have always enjoyed. the full dominion over my private life. I am just more than glad that I always have the liberty to be my own person, to exercise the freedom to choose what I want in life and to decide accordingly, the freedom to believe in something that is greater than Life and the Universe itself, the freedom to love, to laugh, to cry, to learn and to dream, the freedom to express myself and the freedom to improve and enhance my life as I would want it to be, not based on other people's whims, unreasonable rules and unfair demands and expectations.

Freedom is something that I can not live without for when in chains, what is there to live for?

Dubai Terminal 3 - A Destination in Itself

Happy Daddy's Day!

They say that any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a dad. My dad is not perfect, but to me and to my two siblings, he is certainly special.

He and I have never been that close ever since but I know that he is greatly responsible for who I am and for what I have become.

I know that I took after him when it comes to vanity because like me, my dad is super vain. But aside from that, I know that I grew up with his values engraved deep in my heart. Like me, dad is also laid-back but he has provided well for his family, with the help of mom of course, and is generous to all us.

He never fails to make us feel protected and sheltered by his care and his love. He always makes sure to pass on words of wisdom to guide us through life. And even if we often disagree, he and I, he has never been controlling and has never made unfair and unreasonable demands from me.

That’s why I want to thank him for the love, support, guidance and the friendship. I thank him for being the rock that gives me a secure foundation and for being the wings that enable me to soar high.

I may seldom say this, but I am truly grateful that God has sent us a hero whom we call dad. And I pray that he will be blessed with more strength and faith to withstand the tests of life. I especially pray for good health and peace of mind. I pray the he will be blessed with a lot more time to be with us, his grandchildren and his friends!

We Love you, Daddy! Happy Father’s Day!

Getting Hit On

Women usually don't like getting hit on. Do I hear an objection? Well then, maybe there is an exception. I guess there are women, and am not saying all, who may have low self-esteem, are already attached to someone for years on end, are old or pregnant that might just actually feel flattered when a guy hits on them. And who wouldn't be if it has been a long time since she last got a compliment? But I guess its safe to assume that generally women don't like it. It is just so annoying, unless of course the guy is really irresistible and a Brad Pitt look-a-like. But even so I , personally would prefer that he would not hit on me. It's just so cheesy and sleazy. I would rather that he shows real interest in me first as a person and not as a woman whom he can get into bed with. Talk about respect. Well, that's just me.

So what exactly is a guy's intention when hitting on a girl? I don't think that he would hit on a girl with the primary aim and hope that she falls in love with him, right? In fact, I would say that it's the last thing on his mind. He usually would just want to have fun and if luck is on his side, he would also very gladly want to end up in her pants as well without going through the usual drama and commitment thing. That's why it's so sleazy and annoying! But how can you tell that a guy is already hitting on you? And how thin is the line between an honest compliment and plain flattery?

In my search for answers, I tried googling " How to tell if a guy is hitting on you" and this is what I got: well, it depends on the guy. Some will compliment you often, even if you think that what he's complimenting doesn't deserve a compliment. If you're with your friends, and he only focuses on you, then that's a perfect sign.

Whoa! That's it? That is taking it so lightly, if I may say so! It does not even sound so serious and definitive enough to me to warrant or justify this bothersome feeling of unease and discomfort. And it is highly likely that it can still easily be mistaken as just PURE and simple admiration and thus can be totally ignored and dismissed as such.

I had my fair share of a few guys hitting on me and they usually were very aggressive than that. There was even this crazy old guy, a senior citizen, much to my dismay, who once stalked me for like a year or so. How repulsive is that? And there was this one seemingly nice guy I met several times at gatherings, that at first I refused to admit that he was already hitting on me, for both our sakes. He seemed like someone whose company I would have enjoyed if only he was not coming on to me. Although I did not like it one bit, I also did not want to confront him. Its' not an easy thing after all and besides NO guy will ever welcome a rejection no matter how nicely you deliver it. And I did not want to risk the possibility of making an enemy out of him. So I just let things be and was in denial for a short while. I even offered myself some excuse of not being sure yet if he was just being too friendly or has already crossed beyond the line, although deep down I already knew that he was actually more than being friendly especially by my own standards. And then he started calling me names of endearment that made me cringe every time. And even during a very casual conversation, he would not let the chance of openly saying that he misses me slip off. And he would also drop compliments like I look HOT in a dress that is not even considered as revealing nor sexy. And to top it all off, he can't seemed to keep his hands off me! He even boldly asked if he could kiss me!!! That was the last straw. It was too much already. Enough of this trashy game. I had to tell him to stop or he would think that it's okay for me when it actually is not! But how do I tell him off and still allow him to save his face?

Some people might say that I am giving this too much thought than necessary or I am taking this whole thing too seriously or I am making a big fuss out of it. But I truly believe that it is just fitting for me to speak up and let the guy know how I feel lest he thinks that I enjoy his flirtation because I was allowing myeslf to take it. And besides if I don't say something as early as possible then he will keep on doing it and will certainly even expect me to give in soon and it would already be too late to say no. And he will then think I have led him on all along only to turn him down in the end. He will think that I am such a huge tease. But who wants to be called a tease? Not me!

Along with this resolve to tell him off as soon as possible, was the need to examine myself and try to re-evaluate my actions. Did I do something to invite him to flirt with me? Did I give him the impression that I am interested in him in the same way that he was interested in me? Maybe somewhere along the way he misunderstood something that I said or did and took it as more than what it truly is. I think that it is also important to observe and look into one's self rather than put the blame and judgment entirely on the guy. I think that it is the mature way of dealing with this kind of thing and it would also help me to understand the whole situation and perhaps come up with corrective actions and certainly it would also help me decide on how to deal and confront the guy. I realized I may have sounded too eager and too friendly perhaps. Maybe that was it. Sadly some guys will just take advantage of that.

It was not difficult to find the opportunity to tell him off since he did not waste time and was always flirting with me at every chance he got. But the actual telling him was not easy though. But I had to do it just the same. There was no other way. I told him that I find his advances bothersome and he makes me uncomfortable and I hope that he will stop doing so and asked him to try to understand my being straightforward. But unfortunately, no matter how politely and nicely you say it, they will always take offense. It's an ego thing after all. And most guys have pretty huge egos! As expected he was wounded and hurt and did not take it so nicely. So it's the price that I have to pay. But does it matter anymore? I realized that if he can not respect how I feel and can not accept a rejection then I should not feel sorry that I lost his friendship after all.


Tips on how to say NO to the guy who is hitting on you :

1. Make it clear that you are not interested or are not finding the comments flattering. Use this only with a co-worker. It may cause problems if you tell a customer off.
2. Thank the giver for the compliment and walk away. This sends the signal that you are not interested. Again, use this only with co-workers.

Chicken ala Carte

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

I was truly moved to see such a touching story and a real one at that. Silent tears started rolling down my cheeks. I know a lot of us are all accustomed to seeing this kind of poverty and starvation in the streets everyday, unless you are one of those who avoid this reality and pretend that they don't exist. But there is also a majority of us who feel disturbed at the sight of them and could not help but shed a tear or two. But once the tears dry up, sadly, we usually just move on too quickly, go back to our OWN realities, and forget all about what our eyes had seen.

This video was just recently shared to me by a very good friend of mine who, I should say, has a very big and compassionate heart and through whose eyes I am able to see the sad truth of the world's pain and distress. Unlike most of the guys, he is the only one I know who is easily moved to tears by a simple scene like the one in the video, and is not at all embarrassed by the display of such an emotion. And because of him, who constantly reminds me that there are people who are less fortunate than me, I am inspired to share whatever humble blessing I have to those in need. I also feel guilty and ashamed of myself for complaining about my own little "misfortune" when these poor children are living on other people's trash and yet their dignity and faith are still intact.

This is what Ferdinand Dimadura, the Director, has to say about this video: This film is about the hunger and poverty brought about by Globalization. There are 10,000 people dying everyday due to hunger and malnutrition. This short film shows a forgotten portion of the society. The people who live on the refuse of men to survive. What is inspiring is the hope and spirituality that never left this people.

The Reader

I have watched a movie today- 2009 OSCAR Winner, The Reader. It's one good movie. Unforgettable and haunting.

It's been stored in my external hard drive for some time already and I have not had the chance to watch it until now. I was just feeling bored and lonely after I have spent the whole day sleeping so I decided to watch a film. It was a tug of war between The Reader and The Milk and I am glad the former came out the victor. The movie is kind of heartbreaking but I refuse to only see the bad side. I've learned that there is always something good in every situation no matter how bad and awful it may seem.

I was never a fan of Kate Winslet, even after Titanic. But I must say that she gave the performance of a lifetime in this movie. No wonder she won the Oscar.

The film's setting is in 1958, Germany. It is about a teenage boy, Michael, who had a summer affair with Hanna, a woman twice his senior. He was on his way home from school one afternoon when he suddenly felt sick. Hanna found him throwing up in her doorway and she helped him, hugged him and sent him home. After some months of recuperation Michael went back to Hanna's place to express his gratitude with a bouquet of flowers.

While putting on her stockings, Hanna, saw Michael spying on her behind her door that was slightly ajar. When their gaze locked, he fled in shame. But he found himself on her doorstep again the following day, wanting to see her. And this time Hanna seduced him. That started the affair between them.

Then you go wonder- what does that have to do with a reader? Well, at her bidding, it has become a routine for Michael to read to Hanna first before she would make love to him. Being young and all, and never been with a woman before, Michael was enamored with her. He was just more than happy to please her and to read to her story after story. Hanna however was somewhat always matter-of-factly with him, unfeeling and was apathetic for most of the time. She never even bothered to ask his name even after the third encounter. She is the kind who lives an empty and lonely life on her own, with nothing much to look forward to.

One day, she just disappeared from his life without so much as a good bye. Michael was devastated but had no choice but to go forward and get on with his life. Over a decade after, he went to law school and there he tried to live life and escape a past that was so brief yet painful and haunting.

But fate has a plan of its own. And that is to bring them together once again. This time the setting was in a courtroom. Being a law student the now grown up Michael took a seminar on the Holocaust. The class attended the joint trial of former guards of the concentration camp. Michael was surprised to see Hanna as one of the defendants but she was oblivious of his presence. She was being charged of sending Jewish women to death. During the testimony, it was revealed that Hanna would order the prisoners to read to her at night. Michael suddenly realized that Hanna was illiterate all along. The other fellow guards accused Hanna of being the instigator of the crime. But instead of submitting a handwriting sample to disprove their claims, Hanna chose to agree to them. Michael went to see Hanna in the prison to try to convince her to tell the truth but on second thought retreated because he was not ready to expose his own shameful past with her. Hanna was sentenced to life imprisonment just because she was ashamed to admit her lack. How far does one go to protect one's humiliating secret?

As an adult, Michael had become emotionally withdrawn. Even his marriage did not last and he was distant from his own daughter. When he stumbled upon the books that he had once read to Hanna, he decided to re-establish the connection between them. He read all the books again to a voice recorder and sent the tapes to Hanna in prison. Hanna was happy and inspired because Michael kept her company through his recorded readings. And it's never too late to learn. Using Michael's voice as her guide, she taught herself to read and write. She would send him letters but he never wrote back. Upon her parole, Michael was the one who was chosen to be her sponsor due to the fact that he was the sole contact she has outside of prison. He reluctantly agreed though. He went to see her a week before her release and for the first time after she sneaked out of his life many years ago, they met again face to face. It was an uncomfortable encounter with both of them acting aloof around each other.

When finally it was time for her release. Michael went back to pick her up but only to find out that she had committed suicide.

Heartbreaking isn't it? It made me cry a bucket of tears! But I refuse to totally dampen my spirits. I know that not all love stories, like this one, have a happy ending. But at least, even though it is tragic, it is still a love story! Forgive me for being cheesy here but I am just a sucker for Romance! It just always inspires me to learn lessons of love. Today, I have learned that love can happen to anyone, in all ages, or between two people in a not so perfect set up or in the most inappropriate of encounters, or to those whose differences are world's apart. And no matter how brief the experience was or how seemingly wrong the whole thing was, especially in the eyes of others, once you have found your true love, you can never deny it no matter how much you want to because it will consume your whole being and forever haunt you. And it will not even matter anymore if the other person never fully reciprocated your love. In the end what matters most is to allow yourself to express the truth in your heart even if you can never posses the object of that love, and to be there in whatever way possible (even as simple as reading to her from a recorder) for that one person you have always truly loved. And only then will life have its color and meaning.

To Mommy With Love

We are not exactly the best of friends, my Mom and I. In fact we often disagree on almost everything. And she's not my number one fan either. She often disapproves of anything I do. But don't get me wrong. She isn't so bad. Not at all. You see, I am the black Sheep. That's why.

We seldom have a "moment" between us. I am pretty much independent, thus I am most of the time on my own. And to her, I always seem so distant and withdrawn. I must admit that I am. The only moment we had that I can remember was during my first day in college. I wanted to study at a university but she insisted that I go to an all-girls school. I was heartbroken. She came with me to Manila and stayed with me for like a month until I got myself familiar with everything. She brought me to school on my first day. I was really so shy then, being a promdi and all so she sat with me all through out the orientation thing. When it was over and time to enter the classrooms, she approached the kindest and nice looking girl in my class and introduced me to her. She asked the girl to show me around and to be with me. She practically asked her to be my friend! It was touching. And for the next few months of my college life I would always miss her and could not help but cry while walking down the hallways of St.Paul.

My Mom never runs out of wise words to say to me. And she would always nag me about everything too. From the food I eat to the little things I do. The only thing that she doesn't have a say to is the clothes I wear. And thank God for that! But she would constantly nag me about praying the Rosary or reading the Bible (she just reminded me to bring the Bible on my way back here but I forgot to do so). She would always nag me about buying a blender (which I finally just did) and make either a carrot or apple juice everyday. She would always nag me to hear Mass every Sunday too. She would always tell me to do some exercise to keep fit (aside from yoga) and to cut on sugar and junk food. And the long list goes on...

But despite the absence of the usual best friend relationship between my Mom and I, like most of the mothers and daughters have, she remains to be the only person who never fails to pray for me (and maybe the other one is my best friend of four years). She is very prayerful and I know deep down that she always prays that I may find what I have been looking for and what I have come here to achieve, so that soon I will fly home and stay near her and my whole family for good.

I know I seldom say this and I will say it now. Thank you, Mom for your never ending support and the endless prayers. Sometimes I wonder why things always turn out well and better for me. And I realize, it's because God always listens to prayers of mothers like you when daughters like me sometimes forget to pray and allow themselves to be caught in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I pray that you always find joy in your life and peace in your heart. And I thank God for blessing me and my sisters with a person like you to be our Mother! We love you!

So Unlike The First Time

It is indeed true! I have somehow known it will feel this way and I have been dreading it. But I was silently hoping it would not be as bad as they say.

I am talking about coming back to Dubai from my vacation. Unlike last year, I feel more homesick now than I was when I first got here. Just as I thought I would be. I remember there was a lot of excitement then and I was very eager to start anew. There was a whole bunch of new people to meet, a lot of places to see and a lot of new things for me to experience. And I was then so very glad to have left my old job. I did not mind being alone and so far away from home. I was just determined to make some major changes here and there. Although I must admit, I was also somewhat apprehensive and scared of what might come. It was such a major leap for me after all. What if things won't turn out well for me? There was even a time when I felt uncertain about the decisions I have made in my life. I would then asked myself "What am I doing here?" I guess these things really do happen once in a while. Sometimes fear attacks us and we get crippled by our weakness and we become too hard on ourselves. But thankfully, it was a phase that quickly went away without causing so much damage. I had some major encouragement, support and guidance from a very few inspiring people (whom I know I owe a lot) after all and I personally refused to deflate my spirits too. And so far everything has been really well for me.

But gone are those fears and uncertainties now. And although it still rings true that the opportunities to meet a lot of people and to experience a lot of new things are still very much there, the excitement is not like before. It has just somewhat turned into a kind of knowing for me that things will remain good or get better especially if I believe they will, which I do, and if I work hard for what I want. It has become a comforting thought to know that I have made the right decision and I have this feeling that there is no better place for me at the moment and at this stage in my life but right here.

And because the excitement has already dissipated since that first time, coming back now feels quite different to me and has left me with only two things to deal with- this utter homesickness, something I have never quite felt before and a steadfast resolve (more than ever) to stay and make the most of everything. I surprisingly just miss home so much this time around. And I miss my Family and our trips around Luzon. I miss hanging out with my nieces too and I miss going out with Kayla everyday to hit the malls, the parlor and the food chains ( which are mostly her choice) and the grocery too. I even dragged her to Taft once and let her ride the MRT and the LRT, which she enjoyed immensely! I just miss everything. But like everything else, I know that this too shall pass. It has to and soon. And what will remain is my wish of continuing forward.

Even the plane ride coming back seemed short (yes, the eight-hour flight seemed short to me) and boring too. Not that there was an unforgettable thing that happened during my flight before, but I told you…I was just really so excited then. I realized I never even went for a bladder break this time! I just slept the whole time, bored and lonely, only waking up to eat the meals, without even finishing it. Sometimes, I would sneak a look at the golf tournament that the Caucasian golfer beside me was running on his TV screen the whole trip (I was so sleepy and did not intend to watch anything so I did not turn my own screen on.) while he would doze off in his seat and would slowly drop his head towards me once in a while. Then I would try to slightly push him away. And thankfully he would budge.

However, the good thing now is- I already have a lot of friends back here. And the Dubai airport has become a very familiar place to arrive at. A comfort zone. I already know my way around and there are a few familiar and friendly faces too. I am also very settled in my own flat now and of course, I can just go online anytime I want, which is most of the time, unlike before when I first got here. I was housed in a hotel for two months but it never felt like home despite the comforts and convenience it offered and I didn't get the means and the luxury of an unlimited internet connection right away.

I just wonder if I will ever get used to this whole thing of going home and coming back and that I would not feel so homesick anymore the next time around. I guess not. I think that I would always feel homesick every time I come back from a vacation from home. But I don't mind. I would say that the happiness, excitement, enjoyment and fun of being home and of being with my family are still worth all the homesickness afterward when it's already time to say goodbye.

EK 332

I stayed home all day today. I was supposed to do some errands for a friend of mine and a few chores of my own but I was just not up to it. The rainy weather was perfect for lazing around and I did just that-lazed around all day and fooled around with my nieces too. I never had the opportunity to do it since I got back a week ago. And I found myself thoroughly enjoying it.

For the first time I got to really feel the new house where I am staying now. I tried to be fully present and aware enough to feel every corner and every part of it and to intently listen to the surroundings as well. I realized that the neighborhood is really so quiet to the point that it can get so lonely and boring at times. I also noticed airplanes that are about to touch down are flying a few hundred feet over the area every so often. But thankfully, the distance is far enough to slightly mute the deafening roar of the engine but not too distant enough for me not to be able to make out the insignia on the aircraft's tail.

I saw a few familiar domestic airplanes and some unfamiliar ones. Then at exactly 15:55 HRS, I saw EK flight 332. Very familiar indeed! I suddenly thought to myself that just a week ago I was in that same flight coming home and in a few days I will be in that flight again flying abroad. Then it hit me that as much as I have enjoyed staying at home today, I really have no business lazing around unless I run and finish all my errands because my days are already numbered. :-)

Torn

My two-week vacation is almost over now and I am just counting the days until I am gone. I honestly am already starting to regret that it's coming to an end soon. But today I found myself torn between my feelings of wanting to go away, thankful that I have a refuge in another place and of still wishing to stay and linger on. Not that I really can though. But the feeling is just undeniably there.

The pangs of nostalgia are already palpable every time I think of leaving soon. I really did enjoy being home again and visiting places while bonding with my family. I will certainly miss all of them especially my niece, whom I have spent most of my time with. And of course I was happy to see some of my closest friends too (although a very good friend of mine is having some problems of his own and I can't help but feel a little down...might be his depression rubbing off on me a bit). However, and unexpectedly too, the ghosts of the past are also starting to haunt me again and chase me away that I would rather escape and run free from it.

Home still feels like home and very much so. And I will always come back to it. But it just terribly saddens me to realize that for now I should take refuge from someplace else rather than the one I call home. I only wish that someday when I get back I would not feel so haunted again.

Caleruega Church

From the hill top. It was a gloomy Saturday afternoon

Sunshine after the rain...

Pavement going to the retreat quarters.

Windmills of The Gods

I have never heard of a windmill in Ilocos before, let alone seen one. Then my sister and I chanced upon this brochure from the office at the pensionne where we were staying in Laoag. Among the many tourist attractions, it featured the "Windmill Farm". I was truly intrigued and fascinated by the pictures of the turbines. They were really something and I definitely wanted to see the "farm". I was just worried though that we would never have enough time to do so. We planned to stay for only a couple of days and there were a lot of places to visit and it was not in our itinerary after all.

Fortunately, we saw it in the town of Bangui on our way to Saud Beach in Pagudpud. We decided to check it out on our way back. There were like nineteen of these windmills standing tall, dwarfing everything around them. For me the scene was just very beautiful! I was utterly speechless and awed by the sight! Although my sister felt otherwise. She thought it was eerie that they looked like giant electric fans standing all over the place! And they all seemed to hum in the wind too every time their blades rotate in the air! She said they also seemed like aliens to her from outer space.

According to Dad, (who knows a bit about it, probably because he is a civil engineer by profession) the Bangui Windmills were built to help reduce the emission of harmful gas that causes global warming and to accelerate the rural electrification. He said that the location should be somewhere where the wind blows all year round. In this particular area, the wind comes from the north-east. The turbines were built along the shore in a single row facing the sea. The turbines stand roughly around 70 meters high from ground level and the blades were like 40 meters long. They are indeed gigantic!

The place is open to everyone who wants to witness the beauty and wonder of these windmills. And as for me, seeing them was the most fun and interesting part of my Ilocandia tour!

Tagaytay Sunset

Do I still need words to tell you how splendid the sunset is?

There was a downpour the whole afternoon in Tagaytay that Saturday. The rain was so hard that it got us stranded for like an hour in that nice Bali Seafood resto where we had our lunch. I didn't think that the sun would come out again. But it did and that lifted my spirits.

We climbed up the winding road hoping to wander aimlessly in that park at the top of the mountain. But unfortunately they closed it down an hour early because of the bad weather. But I was so amazed to see a lot of people there still lingering by the area contented and happy enough to marvel at the beauty of the sunset. And I thought to myself, indeed the Pinoys are really "mabababaw" because we easily find pleasures in the simplest of things. But then I realized that it takes a deeper presence and awareness to be able to admire an everyday thing like a sunset.

Stop And Admire The Flowers

These are some of the beautiful flowers I have seen at Caleruega Church during my recent visit. I love flowers especially if they are of the rarest kind. The one in the third picture caught my attention because I remember when my grandma was still around, she used to grow a few back home in the province and she fondly called it the "Birds of Paradise". During Flores de Mayo, she would allow my sisters and I to pick all kinds of flowers from her garden except the orchids and this beautiful creation that has no wings but is considered a bird in paradise.

The Stone House Cafe

The Stone House Cafe in Laoag City, Ilocos Norte is a nice cozy place where you can enjoy the food and coffee, the Bossa Nova music and the great ambiance. The architecture and interior design are really impressive and the place is very homey too.

Paoay Church

Paoay Church, Paoay, Ilocos Norte

I have been to an Ilocandia tour with my girl friends thirteen years ago but I never got the chance to see this beautiful church then. But I knew that it exists because I have seen it in a huge and very picturesque painting at the former President Marcos's home (which is also in Paoay) during that visit. I thought it was really very beautiful but it did not prepare me for the real thing. It is truly awesome! I could not help but capture it in its grandeur.

Beautiful Place, Beautiful Moments

Saud Beach Resort, Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte

They say it's the Boracay of the North. It's a very lovely beach but without the overly crowded population of Bora. If you love to be in an enchanting place with a serene environment to help you relax, perhaps meditate, and escape the hustle and bustle of the city life, this is a nice getaway.

April's Birthday Girls

To my mommy who will be celebrating her birthday on April 23, I wish you more love, more peace, more strength, more faith and good health. Thank you for your prayers.

To my sisters Pax and Lei who will be celebrating their birthdays on April 10 (yes, they have the same birthday!), I wish you both inner peace, joy and good health.

Racism Sucks

Another display of racial prejudice against the Filipinos was recently committed by Chip Tsao , a Chinese columnist, when he wrote a satirical article in HK Magazine degrading and humiliating the Filipino race yet again.

Tsao stirred an outburst of rage among Filipinos all over the world (especially OFWs) by writing that the Philippines’ claims on the disputed Spratly Islands were completely silly, ungrateful, not to mention ambitious in the face of Beijing’s claims on the same territory.

He wrote, “As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter”. And he added to say that he warned his own house help, who is apparently a Filipina, that in order to earn a raise, she should tell her fellow inferior citizens that the Spratlys belong to China.

More than 100,000 Filipinos work in the southern Chinese city of Hong Kong, mostly as low-paid domestic helpers. Despite Tsao already issuing a public apology saying that he didn’t mean anything demeaning by his remark since all of us humans are really servants of God, the Filipinos in Hong Kong are united to hold a rally in protest of this article. And he has already been banned from entering the Philippines.

As a journalist/columnist he should not be saying all those racist remarks in public, let alone publish it. Being a professional and a public figure, he should be able to exercise objectivity and responsible journalism by keeping his racist remarks and judgments to himself. If his exposure to the Filipinos as a people is only limited to the domestic workers in Hong Kong, then it’s totally absurd of him to generalize the whole Filipino race as a nation servants!

Racism sucks!

Big Fat Lie

Why is Happiness So Elusive?

Everyone of us is searching for true happiness. But seldom do we really find it except at some brief moments which often normally slip away too quickly and escape our grasp, leaving us with just a lingering memory to reminisce about. And it's not a coincidence that the more you tighten your grip around it, the more it will try to elude you.

Most of the time we are just left with nothing but regret and resentment due to a past that went awry and makes our "HERE" and "NOW" seemingly unbearable. Or a sheer hope pinned on some future event that we wish to happen, and makes us want to skip or abandon the present moment and fast forward our lives. Or worst is a feeling of fear and dread of the unknown in what is yet to come, which plagues us and thus prevents us to be truly happy NOW. An unknown that may or may not even happen. But we seldom are aware of the present moment and at peace with the NOW, which is the only thing about time that is real.

But why is true and lasting happiness so elusive? And what is the secret to experiencing it for more than fleeting moments?

Being a huge fan of Echart Tolle, I would like to share his 10 powerful insights. Mr. Tolle is the New York Time’s bestselling author of The Power of Now and A New Earth-Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. And now comes his newest book, Oneness with All Life.

These are the Ten Ways to A Happier YOU by Echart Tolle:

1. Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.
2. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, "I am ruined" is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. "I have 50 cents left in my bank account" is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.
3. See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.
4. Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.
5. Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.
6. People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.
7. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.
8. Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.
9. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.
10. If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.

In a nutshell, just make peace with your present moment by accepting it as is. Don't resist it, rather embrace it, after all it is all you have got. That is why it's called a gift, a present because it's the most precious time. If you truly think about it you'll come to know that you can not undo the past nor can you control the future... but you can do something about the present. And lastly, don't look for happiness elsewhere. Everything that is inherently good and joyful is already something that you posses within, waiting to be illuminated by the light of your presence for it to shrine through. Click this link below.

From O, the Oprah Magazine Online

April Fools'Day

Happy April Fools’ Day everyone! ( Or should you be happy if someone has played a trick on you ? You wonder.)

Although it is not a holiday in it‘s own right, it is observed in many places around the world during April 1. People play practical jokes, pranks or hoaxes not only on their enemies but on friends and family members too. The purpose of which is to embarrass and make a fool of somebody, as the name of the celebration suggests. So be careful today and don’t be so gullible! But if you happen to be a victim of some joke, I still think you just have to be a total sport.

Monster Radio

My Fave station of late. I love listening to the Morning Rush. I would wake up every morning (2:00 a.m. Dubai Time) just to listen to Chico and Del. It makes me feel like I am just home driving on my way to work. And I get some updates about what's happening back home too.

The Station is a consistent Golden Dove Awardee and has won Catholic Mass Media awards too. And I just feel like I just fit into their customer demographic. Just please click the link below.

www.eradioportal.com/index.php?p=2&aid=1&sid=19&tid=2

The Rolls Royce That is Yummy

Just a couple of months back or so, an old friend of mine introduced to me this gem of a chocolate when he gave me two boxes as a gift. He was damn right when he said that I will never look at another chocolate again with the same desire and craving in my eyes as I would the Royce'!

It is a Japanese product and as such it is made into perfection. The package is very impressive because aside from the classy box it even has a cooling dry ice to help preserve its content's freshness! And there's also a plastic knife that comes along with every box to help you pluck out the chocolate that is sliced in small cubes and dusted with a heavy powder of cocoa or some other flavor.

The texture of the chocolate itself is very subtle to the taste and very smooth that it melts so quickly in your mouth leaving just the taste of chocolate tarrying in your taste buds. A taste that is not so sweet yet not too bitter. It is heavenly!

Absolutely Vanilla!

I am no sucker for booze except for red wine (which is good for the health) and maybe Baileys. But I am a huge fan of vanilla in every form especially in ice cream and Oreo! And I finally realized why I never liked the original Absolut vodka. It's because I prefer his younger brother, Absolut Vanilla more. I love this new version which comes in a classy bottle too that even looks yummy to me.

I was having dinner at a friend's house and she let me taste some left-over of it from her previous booze party the night before. I fell in love right away on the first sip. It smells so deliciously sweet and it's smooth to the taste too.

We all know that if you've had enough of vodka you'll get that alcohol stench in you for some time, but not this one. And it does not feel like its burning in your throat. I just super love it!

Photofunia

Smells like Sweet Spirit

Omnia Green Jade By Bvlgari (as if there is another color of jade other than green or is there?). This is the newest scent that I love to wear. Not only do I love the packaging, (I find it so unique and attractive) I also love the shade of green that exudes an enchanting freshness. The floral scent is just so sweet yet light, which is delicately feminine but gives an aura of seduction and innocence at the same time. Just perfect for my taste.